February 25 is always a day that reminds me of the word “freedom.” For one, we celebrate our country’s emancipation that happened 35 years ago. It is also a date so close to my birthday that I often declare this free day as my gift to “breathe.” It is a day when I would allow myself to wake up to that day as a “white canvas” and then freely doodle, blot, smudge, or even just stare at it and magically fall asleep. This day is precious because, as with most parents, I feel guilty not spending every free time with my family. But through the years, because I found these days to be both therapeutic and self-empowering, I have made time for these pockets of tranquility more unapologetically.
All parents have a lot of things on their plate. Whether we are full-time homemakers or semi/full-time working parents, we all face multiple tasks every day. Oftentimes, we are not in our own priority list.
The danger of treading forth without stopping to “breathe” is lethargy. It is not just getting tired physically, but, worse, emotionally and psychologically. Every ON button, needs some time OFF. Call it a recharge to restart.
It is odd to say this, but freedom time must be had when you think you need it least. In other words, the busier you think you are, or the more “zen” you think you are, freedom time must be seen as your best preventive maintenance. This time forces us to quiet our outside world and listen to our own stillness. So when we are confronted with forces that seek to influence us, we have a strong handle on who we are and decide what’s best for us in the long term.
These moments may be 10 minutes a day, a day in a week or a weekend off. It’s not the amount of time but the resolve to commit that freedom to breathe.
Here are some of the things I do in my freedom time:
Go to a quiet place. This can be the guest room where no one stays, a quiet corner by a tree in a park, an emptier section of a beach or the prayer room in a nearby Church. I just stay still doing nothing as long as I want, then I take an artistic shot of this quiet place to commemorate this time I gave myself.
Read a book with bite size thoughts like poetry, quotable quotes, or short stories.
Read my past journal entries or write a new one.
Write poetry and be my own artist. I once dreamt of being a painter when I was a child. I love transporting myself in time sketching, mixing colors and getting my hands dirty with Cray-Pas. Bear that courage to dig back to your past. So what if you are far off from your childhood dreams today? Be grateful for today. Be grateful for your journey. Life is not meant to be one dimensional. You can create another playing field from these pockets of freedom time. That’s how I started my courage to write despite my demanding full-time job.
Spend time for meaningful conversations. This can be with one of my “philosophical” friends; with Tin Jacinto from Healing House; or reconnecting with people from my past.
At some point in our lives, we can decide to gift ourself a major freedom time through transformative coaching.
“Transformative coaching is helping people create a shift within themselves and whatever it is they are trying to overcome, be it internal, relationship, career, etc. A transformational coach will not provide a solution but help their ‘coachee’ get to their own answer through a series of intentional questions,” according to certified transformative coach Krystle Dizon Dehesa (KDD), who was born and raised in San Francisco in California, USA, then relocated to Manila.
KDD—you can reach out to her through her social-media pages—encourages each person to equip themselves better emotionally. She says that every day we have to make tough choices, especially high performers such as CEOs, entrepreneurs, athletes, and the highest performers of them all: mothers.
One of the interesting programs she offers is called “A Mother’s Evolution” because as women we are ever evolving. In KDD’s words: “When we become mothers, we think we’ve hit our final stage but this is only the beginning. Motherhood pushes us beyond our limits because our potential is even greater than what we imagine for ourselves. In our lifetime, we will encounter several versions of ourselves and in this program, we learn to let go of who we were so that we grow to understand that there is no limit to who we can become.”
For me, the bottom line is that a medal pinned on us or not by the world doesn’t measure our worth. We are first and foremost our own persons before we became a partner and a parent. And we owe it to ourselves and to those who love us to free up some time to take care of who we are. That said, carving out this freedom time actually brings long-term positive effects to those who matter to us the most.
Happy “Freedom Breathing,” everyone.
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