LAST week I shared how water may help relieve anxiety. This week, let’s go a bit deeper.
We must face the reality of less communication and understanding among family members, which studies have shown to be a source of anxiety to both parents and children. This is one of the results of too much individual gadget time and a generally more stressful environment after a day’s tasks. This may lead to kids not feeling their homes as a place to lay out their anxieties. Then before we know it, they grow into their teen years distant, and in more extreme cases in needing of more serious emotional help.
My daughter Meagan, at age 14, recently told me at dinner that she felt lucky she is able to tell me anything. On another instance, she showed me a note she wrote about how down she felt that particular day, but how lucky she felt to have a family that supports her, to have a roof over her head, and have a great relationship with her mom and dad. She ended the note with “I feel blessed.”
I believe healthy communication, as basic as it may sound, is fundamental in raising happy and fulfilled kids. That’s why my second installment of my “one” solutions for managing family anxiety and emotional health is about “words”.
I believe anxiety can be handled better by identifying one’s emotions. For me, the best way to identify it is to write it down. That’s why I have journaled since I was in the third grade. According to Health.harvard.edu, “writing about thoughts and feelings that arise from a traumatic or stressful life experience—called expressive writing—may help some people cope with the emotional fallout of such events.”
According to Healthline.com, writing can be an effective way to explore how you feel, especially if talking out loud feels impossible. According to the health platform, studies show that keeping a journal is actually a healthy way to deal with negative feelings and can help reduce stress.
Although writing alone may not provide all the solutions, I believe it helps at least organize our thoughts as we attempt to find meaning in these experiences. This, in my opinion, if continuously done, can serve as a great building block for emotional resiliency, both in kids and in adults.
So, for this Holy Week, I recommend the following activities:
READ TO THAT TRIGGER AND BE INSPIRED. My recent re-read was What I Know For Sure by Oprah Winfrey. Look through old journals, greeting cards or even notes from loved ones. Revisit the feelings they trigger. Relish especially the moments of joy.
WRITE IT OUT. Find a notebook, even those free ones you get, or open a new note in your Notes application. Start by writing down the date. Write about anything. Jot it down in poetry if you wish. If nothings pops up, try to fill in the blanks to this sentence: “Life at [your age now] is [pick three adjectives] because….” Then, continue with “I am grateful for [write as many as you want].” I honestly do not journal now as much as I used to. But in quiet times like long holidays, I would open my Notes and continue on from my previous journals. Even your kids can do the same exercise.
CREATE SELF-QUOTES. After writing it out, one might get triggered with all the stressful things we are facing. Imagine what advice you can give yourself. You can even look through applications like Motivation and pick an uplifting quote. Bring out any colored material and just draw it out to post on your desk or work area. You can opt to create a digital artwork and keep it on your phone’s photo album. Then every so often, you can open that folder and read through these mantras when you feel down. You can even make this as a fun family activity this Holy Week by creating positive quote artworks to serve as encouragement for each other.
ATTEMPT TO DO A LIFELINE EXERCISE. As I was researching for this column, I found a college submission I did for Psych 11 class, called The Lifeline Exercise. It basically tells you to chart your life in an excel sheet with the following columns: Age, Significant Experience, What Happened, Feelings, Significant People, Score of feeling from -5 to +5.
SHARE YOUR STORY WITH YOUR FAMILY. After doing this lifeline, I am certain you will feel nostalgic and maybe laugh a lot about the things you have done in the past. This can be a start of the many stories you can share with your kids about your childhood. You making the first move to share can bring forward their own sharing as well.
Let this Holy Week be a start of FAMILY WORDS. Let’s give each member the permission to be human and express both their happy and vulnerable sides. I always believe that each of our lives is our own “handmade” story. If you are bold enough to write it out, it means you were bold enough to live it out your way. Let words with ourselves and our families allow us to listen, understand and give pride to our emotions. By doing so, we could lessen anxiety and appreciate our own stories a little bit more.
Advanced Happy Easter, everyone.
Image credits: mindfulurgentcare.com
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