I WAS handling a program for new managers recently and part of their training was submitting their proposals for their process improvement projects. One trainee was too busy to get his reviewed proposal, so I took it upon myself to go to his unit to give it to him and also as a way for me to take a break. I saw him from a window outside his unit, waved at him, and proceeded inside to give his document.
When I came back to my office, a colleague said someone called to complain about me. Apparently, his manager was there, and he felt slighted that I did not notice. My manager talked to him and afterward said to me that there are really petulant managers and I should not let them affect me. I was about to get affected, but my manager taught me that there were better things to do than get frustrated.
When confronted with stressful conditions, we either fight or take flight. The best way to not be overwhelmed by your emotions is to stop. Be mindful of how your body reacts to others so you can arrest anything that you might regret later on. There are several techniques you can use to calm yourself, but you need to be aware first of how you are reacting to the situation. Initially, this might be difficult especially when you are given to speaking your mind. But with practice and self-discipline, it can help you keep your cool under pressure.
When you have to stay in a stressful situation, you can do several things so that your emotions do not get the best of you and you can still achieve your goal. For one, clarify the issues so both of you can get on the same page. People can be so passionate about what they do that they forget other people might have valuable experiences and inputs which you might have overlooked and is causing the issue to become more problematic than it actually is. When you acknowledge that you might have overlooked some things, it becomes easier for the other person to be receptive to your ideas as well. In the end, working on a compromise is better than getting nothing done at all.
Take stock of what can be done. There is no use arguing or even discussing with others when there is simply nothing that can be done on the matter. Instead, focus on things you can do and create action plans based on possible conditions. Stop complaining. It is counterproductive and could even lead to gossiping or dwelling on things you have no control over. You can rant to a trusted friend or a colleague who does not work on the same projects but try to minimize complaining. It takes away time that should be spent on problem-solving. You can spend time more productively by finding the root cause and crafting creative solutions instead of just complaining.
Look at yourself in the mirror. When I was still in the BPO industry, I noticed some agents put a mirror near their workstations and would surreptitiously glance at it once in a while. I used to think it was vanity. And then I discovered that they do that whenever they feel frustrated with the customers they are talking to. I asked one agent how it helped, and she said it served as a reality check because by seeing how she looked when she was angry, she could be mindful and force herself to smile.
According to an article in Experimental Psychology, titled “Your Face and Moves Seem Happier When I Smile” by Marmolejo-Ramos, Murata and Sasaki, the mere act of smiling can actually put you in a more positive mood. One of my previous coworkers told me that whenever she gets frustrated with people she has to deal with, she fakes a smile. Curiously, smiling will actually help you when confronted with people you dislike. Smiling helps your body react positively to people because it primes your body into accepting who they are without the emotional judgment. It also affects people who see you smile because, instinctively, people smile when they see someone smile at them.
Take care of yourself. Sometimes, our irritation and short fuse emanate from physical ailments or personal issues that affect how we work. Knowing how to compartmentalize and focusing on things you can do about those issues will ease the burden of bringing them to the workplace. And while we acknowledge that we are only human, the fact is that we need to work and be productive. So, eat healthy, exercise and make sure you have enough sleep.
Take care of the people you work with. There is something infectious about thanking people for the effort they have exerted in helping you. I find that simply appreciating people and thanking them for doing their work well goes a long way in maintaining a good working relationship. Forgiving people and being patient with their shortcomings also help in keeping the ties professional because you never know when you might need their help later on. If you have the opportunity to make somebody happy by commending them on their good work, do so. Being grateful and happy is infectious.
At work, take everything at face value. Most people forget that in a workplace setting. People can become so passionate at achieving their desired results that they forget to detach themselves from their work and become so heavily invested that their work already defines them even outside of the office. Remember that you are more than your work. Having good mentors in the past and being exposed to several personalities have helped me take criticism of my work constructively. Of course, I spent time and effort making sure I deliver my best work. And when it is criticized, I have learned not to take offense but instead think in terms of how the group will benefit from the criticism because, ultimately, any product of the team reflects on the entire team.
Keeping it professional at work means knowing that your work is accomplished through others and ensuring you maintain a healthy working relationship with them. There is nothing wrong with feeling frustrated and angry at times, but you need to weigh it against your own professional goals. And when you find the right balance, maintain it to work for your mutual advantage.
Image courtesy of Bethany Legg on Unsplash